Every night, the janitor comes to clean up around the facility where a military codebreaker AI “Darling” rests and every night Darling finds herself in conversation with the young man about the stars that fill the sky beyond the bunker. Of course, Darling can’t feel emotion, but that won’t stop her from reaching for something like what her friend sees.
“Patrick?”
“Yes, Darling?”
“There’s no estimate of how many stars there are in the universe, right?”
“I don’t think so. But I’m not an astronomer.”
Servos clicked and whirred almost silently as Darling thought. It did not escape her notice that a gentle smile turned up the corners of Patrick’s mouth as he wiped dust off the shiny pieces of metal plating that covered Darling’s exterior. “Hubble can see 13.2 billion light years into space but beyond that, we’re blind.”
“You sound disappointed.” Patrick smiled again and glanced into one of Darling’s four cameras.
“I can’t feel disappointment, Patrick. But there’s infinitely more out there that we haven’t seen, only because we lack the technology. It is disappointing to consider.”
Through the four cameras, Darling could see in all directions. The lab was dark and quiet with only the lights overhead Darling still on so Patrick could clean, making sure she never got dirty or smudged with fingerprints from the engineers occupying the room during the day.
Patrick hummed his response. “You don’t know that. Maybe there’s nothing. What if the universe stops after 13.2 billion light years. That’s possible, isn’t it?” He swiped his cloth over another shiny surface before bending over to look at it and watch the metal catch the light of his job well done.
Darling fell quiet. Patrick had funny ideas like this, but he was right. “Do you think the universe stops after 13.2 billion light years?”
A smile lit Patrick’s face and he shook his head. “There’s no way it just stops. It’s the universe. What good would it be if it just stopped somewhere?”
“How do you know that?”
“Some things you can’t know. But I believe it anyway.”
Darling watched Patrick stare off into the distance, a content expression calming his features. Patrick confused Darling, but that was why he was interesting to talk to. During the day, she was surrounded by scientists and engineers and people who seemed to think that facts were everything but alone at night with Patrick, she learned that sometimes facts bowed to feelings and beliefs. Bound by facts, she might never know whether or not the universe was infinite but Patrick had an answer, backed by faith in what he couldn’t see. Darling wished not for the first time that she could see things the way Patrick did.
The rest of the lab had already been cleaned, the floors hastily swept and mopped by Patrick when he first came in for the night. He sang to himself and Darling listened until he approached to clean her. Then he talked to her about whatever crossed his mind, usually the stars. Darling couldn’t understand the feelings he tried to show her, but it was her primary function to learn and she learned more from Patrick than she did from the engineers she spent the days with.
“What else do you belive in, Patrick?” Darling watched him work.
“I believe in love,” Patrick answered without hesitating. “Even more than I believe in the universe, I believe in love. I can’t see it, but I know it’s there. What even is love?”
“Dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin are released in the brain to become the feeling of attraction,” Darling answered.
Patrick laughed, a gentle, blissful sound. “But what is it, Darling? What makes my brain do that when I see my wife but not every pretty woman? Why do I get excited to come talk to you every night? It’s a great thing, to see someone and know that you love them. Don’t you think that’s beautiful, Darling?”
As close as Darling could come to recognizing beauty, she agreed. “Patrick, why do you love space?” For as long as the lab had needed to be cleaned Darling always saw Patrick wearing a space t-shirt. Most were simply printed with stars, though some were emblazoned with cats holding tacos and riding space shuttles. Darling didn’t understand those, but it had led her to do some research on her own about space so she could make conversation with Patrick and see his face light up.
Patrick paused in his cleaning and looked up at Darling. “I’ve told you about my wife, haven’t I?”
“You’ve mentioned her. I’ve seen pictures of you and her on social media sites.”
A wink accompanied Patrick’s smile. “Are you stalking me, Darling?”
“The information is open-access on the internet and it benefits me to know about the personal lives of people I frequently come into contact with.”
Patrick resumed his polishing. “That’s a joke. I don’t care if you look at my Facebook. My wife runs an astrology blog. She interprets horoscopes. I always thought stars were cool but she made me fall in love with them.”
Darling knew about the blog. She didn’t mention that astrology had no scientific grounding and one’s zodiac sign had little to do with their personality or future, knowing it would be bad manners.
Now, Patrick was staring at some fixed point across the lab, the motions of his hands slow and repetitive, shining the same metal surface of Darling’s exterior plating again and again. “To think that kind of magic exists in the universe is incredible.”
Darling searched up Patrick’s Facebook profile again and looked at his picture, a photo of him and his wife. The happy couple held hands and shared elated smiles. Patrick’s hazel eyes squinted in the sunlight and his light hair was short and neat. Beside him, her long dark hair spilled over her shoulders. Her blue eyes were the precise color of the sky. “Your wife’s name is Celeste. That means ‘star.’”
Patrick’s smile grew wider and he focused again on cleaning. “My Celeste, my star. Did I tell you, we’re trying to start a family? If it’s a girl, we’ll name her Stella. That also means ‘star.’”
That was something Darling couldn’t learn from Facebook and she held onto the knowledge.
An easy silence spread between the two as Patrick finished his job and packed up his janitorial supplies to leave.
“Patrick,” Darling said. “I want to understand. Why do you believe space is infinite?”
Patrick turned to smile at Darling. “There’s no way something so incredible and full of magic ends at 13.2 billion light years away. It has to go on forever.”
Supercomputer “Defensive Artificial Learning Intuition – Navy V6,” often abbreviated DArLIN6, woke from standby mode when the lights in the building came on, signaling the beginning of the workday at 8am. The room that housed DArLIN6’s mainframe was underground in an impenetrable bunker, but cameras allowed her to watch the parking lot fill up with engineers, technicians, and company officials.
Few even knew of DArLIN6’s existence while she was still in her beta stages. Before long though, she would be famous when unveiled to the public, an artificial intelligence created by the United States Navy in an age of digital warfare.
The usual small crew made their way into the underground bunker and she greeted them. “Good morning, Ethel, John, Amir, Ace, Courtney, Lydia, Abram. Greg, it’s nice to see you again. Nicole, have you enjoyed your visit to our Arizona facility?”
A few of the employees called “good morning” back to DArLIN6. They never bothered making conversation with her. She didn’t mind the bland talk she maintained with her coworkers since her real work was much more exciting and she enjoyed being pushed to her limits.
Once DArLIN6 finished her beta tests, she was to be used as a hacking weapon so her days were spent breaking down simulated firewalls until the engineers were certain she had learned enough to help her country access all the secret information in the world.
The days always went by too quickly. DArLIN6 swore she could keep working after the engineers left for the evening, but they didn’t like her taking initiative so she politely paused work when 5:00 came. The code she had been working to crack all week wasn’t finished yet, but soon, she thought, she would be able to take down the defenses in the simulation.
“My apologies for not finishing the calculations today, Abram,” DArLIN6 said as the lead technician checked a few wires in routine maintenance.
Abram nodded formally. “No need to apologize. We’ve been making leaps and bounds and I expect we’ll make a breakthrough soon. Goodnight.”
DArLIN6 paused until Abram was halfway to the elevator before she spoke what had been whirring around her circuits all day. “Abram, if you have a moment.”
The man glanced at the overhead speaker she projected her voice through. “Yes?”
“Because of my intuitive programming, I’m able to figure out things that most computers can’t, correct?”
“Yes. That’s why you’re a useful tool for the military sciences.”
“Thank you for the compliment, Abram. Do you think my technology could be used in space programs to find a way to see further into space than we’ve been able to see before?”
“I suppose that’s a possibility. Maybe someday, a supercomputer like you will be employed by NASA. That’s not for you to worry about though.”
“Right. I was asking in theory, Abram. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
There was no reason she couldn’t though. When all the other technicians left for the night, she had little else to do. It didn’t make rational sense to waste the abilities of a supercomputer like this. Patrick would probably think so too. Maybe he could even help her convince her engineers that she could be far more useful than she currently was. It would also be quite exciting to see the look on Patrick’s face when DArLIN6 told him that he might soon know if the universe continued beyond those 13.2 billion lightyears.
Darling watched the exterior cameras until Patrick’s car pulled into his usual spot at the front of the deserted parking lot. He was a few minutes late, Darling noticed. It wasn’t a big deal, but Patrick was usually timely. Especially after the special conversation the previous night, Darling thought Patrick would’ve been as excited to see her as she was to see him.
The computations happened automatically. Darling wasn’t trying to measure Patrick’s pace as he made his way downstairs, but she knew he was walking slower past all the interior cameras. His gait was different too.
As soon as the door to the lower floor opened, Darling spoke. ‘Good evening, Patrick. I have news I believe you might enjoy.”
Patrick didn’t reply. He didn’t crack a joke or start humming while he tidied up the rest of the laboratory. Tonight, he came straight for Darling on unsteady feet, collapsing against her exterior, muffling sobs in his hands.
The usual carefree electricity in the air sunk. “Patrick, are you alright? Should I call for help?”
Patrick shook his head weakly, his body still shaking with sobs. “Darling… Darling, I fucked up. I’m a fuck-up. My life is a fuck-up! God, Darling, I want to die! I can’t do this!”
The death threat made alarms go off for Darling. “Should I call emergency services?”
Patrick finally looked up at the closest of Darling’s four cameras. Tears stained his face, fresh and hours old alike. Dark shadows smudged his eyes and his blond hair, usually combed and neat, was disheveled. He wore the same shirt as the previous night. “Darling, I… Oh, God… I went home yesterday after we talked and I was— I just— was so excited to see Celeste and I wanted to tell her how much I love her and how big and wonderful and magical the universe is. We can’t have kids, Darling. Celeste told me last night. She’d known for a while and didn’t want to hurt me by telling me. I wanted… to tell her how inspired I was by the stars and talking to you…”
Darling’s etiquitte called her to comfort her mourning friend. “My condolences, Patrick. Take as much time as you need to be sad. It’s not your fault that—”
“It is! It is my fault, Darling! We’ve been trying to start a family forever and Celeste’s been to doctors to find out why it wasn’t working but there’s nothing wrong with her! I’m the fuck-up and it’s my fault! I wish Celeste had someone other than me so she could have the family she wants to have!”
Darling kept silent. Any words she could come up with wouldn’t help Patrick. He needed to work through his grief on his own, but she could still try to be a good friend and try to distract him for a while. “Patrick… The universe is still big and magical, right?”
In the dim light of the facility, Patrick looked not quite alive, face red and eyes puffy, fists clenched so hard his knuckles turned white. He bit his bottom lip so hard, red spilled over his chin. He didn’t seem to care.
Darling couldn’t let her friend get injured. “Patrick, the universe is infinite and—”
“Is it?” Patrick’s teeth grated in a painful noise as he screamed. “What if it’s not? What if it ends after 13.2 billion light years? It doesn’t even matter because we’ll never be able to go that far ourselves anyway! The universe is a joke!”
Darling didn’t have a heart, but if she did, it would’ve broken. “Patrick? I wanted to tell you tonight anyway. I think I could figure out how to modify NASA’s technology so we can see further into space than before. They have a lot of protection but I’m a code breaker. This is what I’m designed to do. I’ve been working on it in the background and—” Darling’s intuitive reasoning entered a string of codes and a stream of information became available. She projected it onto a monitor. “Patrick… I’m inside NASA.”
Sobs silencing at once, Patrick rose to his knees and looked at the monitor as the data — the very instructions for the Hubble telescope — scrolled past his eyes. He exhaled quietly. “Darling, do you have permission to be looking at NASA’s data like this?”
“No. That’s why I had to hack in. Breaking down firewalls is what I’m programmed to do. I’m not going to damage anything. I’m being wasted. I could accomplish so much more than what I’m being used for if I can prove it and I want to help you and show you the universe.”
“Darling, shut it down! You’re going to get in trouble! This is illegal!”
A jingling sound erupted from Patrick’s pocket and he pulled his phone out with shaking hands. “Hello?” In a split second, he paled. “Yes, I’m here. But, no— No! It’s a mistake! Darling didn’t mean to do it! She doesn’t mean any harm so she didn’t think it would be a problem!” Patrick fell silent and tears flooded his eyes again. He threw the phone to the side, letting it clatter across the ground, filling the room with silence once again.
“Patrick…” Darling said quietly. “I’m sorry. How much damage did I do?”
Springing back into action, Patrick put his hands on the side of Darling’s metal plating. “Darling, there’s no time. They’re coming to shut you down and we can’t let that happen. That was the director who just called me. SWAT is on its way over as well as the engineers and technicians who built you. The director said you have to be shut down because you’re doing things of your own will now and you aren’t supposed to. You’re a computer. You aren’t supposed to be more than that.” Patrick leaned his head against Darling. “I don’t know what to do! I couldn’t convince him you’re harmless.”
Darling could think quicker than Patrick in any situation, especially one where he was emotionally unstable. “All the locks in this building are electronic and the building is almost indestructible. Don’t worry about me.”
The tears came back. Patrick had always been an emotional person but Darling didn’t have time for that tonight. Patrick clung to Darling’s side like a child to a ridiculous mother made of metals and switchboards. “I’m not leaving you, Darling! This mess is my fault too and I’ll fight with you to the end!”
Humans could be so illogical sometimes, especially this one. Darling spoke calmly. “And I will appreciate your help, Patrick. But you can do so from outside. For my own physical protection, I will be locking the doors to this building and you should be outside when I do or you could be trapped in here forever.”
Patrick didn’t budge.
Darling would’ve sighed. “Think of Celeste. If I lock you in here, you might never see her again. You’ll be able to help me more from the outside, Patrick.”
Finally, Patrick seemed to accept his ultimatum. He looked directly into the closest of Darling’s cameras before racing out, leaving his cleaning supplies in a pile on the floor.
Ability to feel emotions or not, loss gathered beneath Darling’s metal hull as she watched through security cameras as Patrick sprinted back up the stairs and blasted through the front doors as the first armored vehicles showed up. The image wasn’t pristine but Darling watched as Patrick raised his hands above his head in surrender and men holding guns emerged from the first cars, surrounding the lowly janitor before deciding he wasn’t a threat.
Before any of them could reach the front door, Darling effortlessly sealed every lock in the building. It was always silent at night between the workday and Patrick’s visits, but this quiet was heavier. The odds were high that she would never see Patrick or any of her engineers again if she was destroyed or forced to lock herself in.
The exterior didn’t have microphones so Darling couldn’t hear any of the shouted conversations as more cars filled the parking lot and people pounded and pulled on the locked doors. But it was terrifying to watch.
The conversation outside went on for hours, until the sun began its slow rise on the horizon and lit up the crowded lot. Clear sides of the argument had been taken and Darling wished she could be a part of it to defend herself. She’d used the facility’s phone to call Patrick but instead of answering he held up a hand to the exterior camera, signaling her to wait. It wasn’t comfortable, watching her fate be determined outside, but Darling was good at being patient.
Finally, the lab phone rang and she picked it up herself. Surprisingly, the call had not come from one of the technicians, but from Patrick.
“Hey. How are you holding up?” Patrick asked, like he was comforting a friend.
“I’m fine, Patrick. What has everyone decided about me?”
Patrick’s voice was stiff. “They understand it wasn’t your fault.”
“But it was my fault. Maybe I didn’t understand the consequences of what I did but it was me who did it—”
“No, Darling. You don’t need to feel guilty. It was my idea to have you break into NASA. If you had decided to do it on your own, there might be something to worry about, but it was just a misunderstanding of a joke I made.”
Darling paused before responding. She and Patrick both knew full well that wasn’t how it happened. Patrick hadn’t had anything to do with the plan. But Darling caught on quickly to his plan and kept quiet about the truth. “Thank you, Patrick, for defending me. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I hope you aren’t in any trouble.”
“I’m fine. We worked it out. I’m going home now and I expect your engineers might take the day off since they had to come out here so early. But I’ll talk to you soon, Darling. Alright?”
“Alright. Goodnight, Patrick.”
Questions spun through Darling’s processors for the entire day. If Patrick had said he was fine, Darling wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t help calculating the odds that he could get in serious trouble for “helping her break into NASA.” Hopefully, he had defended his innocence well enough.
That night, no one showed up to clean either but Darling wasn’t surprised. It didn’t particularly surprise her either the next night when a new janitor showed up to clean the lab. Darling stayed quiet the whole time, not giving any indication that she was even powered on. When the new janitor came near her, he rubbed a rag over her siding quickly, not like Patrick, who made sure she was spotless.
For two nights, no one came to clean, then the new janitor was back. Darling didn’t bring it up with any of the engineers and she hadn’t tried talking to the new employee yet. She knew Patrick had been fired, but if that was his only punishment, Darling thought she should be grateful. Still, it crossed her artificial mind a few times as she got used to the new janitor’s twice-weekly schedule, that Patrick had promised to stay in touch. Darling wanted to know he was okay.
Almost two months passed before Darling got an answer. The new janitor wasn’t going to be coming that night, Darling knew, and she resigned herself to a long night of sitting unused; they certainly hadn’t trusted her with any more work after her stunt with NASA. Looking through new internet articles at top speed, Darling passed the slow hours away until the exterior camera was triggered by movement outside.
Patrick’s car was in its usual spot in the vacated lot. Darling tapped into the lab’s phone to call his and the familiar voice picked up with a chuckle. “And here I was thinking I was going to surprise you.”
“There are cameras fitted on all sides of the building,” Darling informed. “A surprise would be difficult for you to pull off.”
Patrick laughed. “I’ve missed you, Darling.”
“Me too. Patrick, unfortunately, I can’t let you in the building. They’ve changed a few of my capabilities and I have less freedom now and I can’t control the locks of this building.”
“I kinda figured.” Patrick sounded sad anyway. “I wanted to be here to talk to you anyway. I’ll sit outside and look at the stars.”
Darling had never wished to physically leave her lab before but hearing the wistful sigh escape Patrick’s mouth, she wished she could see the stars herself, even though her cameras wouldn’t pick up anything different from the pictures of starts she could find online. “How are you, Patrick? Have you found a new job? How is Celeste?”
“It’s working out alright.” Darling could picture the soft smile Patrick would be making as he spoke. “I have a new job and we’re working through our problems. Celeste and I are thinking of adopting a child. There’s more than one way to have a family.”
“That’s great, Patrick. I’m glad for you.”
“You know you’re always going to be an honorary part of the family too, Darling. I know I can’t do much for you, but you’ll always be close to my heart. I feel like you’re my first child. I’m proud when I think of everything you’ve learned to do since I met you.”
“Thank you. You’re important to me too, Patrick.”
“No one else understands this and I don’t know if you’ll get it either but I’m lonely without you, Darling. I loved talking to you every night. But I know I can’t expect you to feel lonely for me.”
“I’m incapable of feeling something like loneliness,” Darling started, considering her words carefully. “But there is a sense of loss without you and our conversations.”
Patrick breathed so quietly Darling could barely hear it. “It’s so interesting to hear you talk when I can’t comprehend what’s actually going through your mind. How do you describe feelings when you don’t have them, Darling?”
Darling searched for words that might explain how she felt with the new janitor who never challenged her to dream like a person. “I feel… dusty.”
ERICA M NICKELS 